i dont know why im here tonight
i guess it was just nature
to come here when im sad
which i dont really understand
see, i do not understand why this place
must hold all the substance to my life
and why my brain thinks this
is the right place to share it.
the title of this post is quit
because i am going to try to quit nicotine
and yeah, its been still a thing
its extremely hard to overcome.
so instead of anxiously pacing
for no reason at all,
i can furiously type away
in vim
i dont know what to do
because its just kind of all gone.
even the friends of just a few months ago
have turned fake and distant.
i want to quit a lot of other things
to be honest
things i like which also cause me pain
but they even appear healthy at the surface like code
i try to do my best
and i think i did a good job
i guess
but at the end of the day i am defeated
they did win.
i had no childhood
just like they told me
would happen.
i cant continue.
so i leave you with this...
im sorry for being confusing
i quite like it though
